My network is wonderful
and as I quit smoking it grows. I have friends on the computer
also that help me quit and say I should never give up. I just
was not going to go to NJQuitNet.com and end my connection to
the CHOICES program and newsletter. Then they said I can do it
again and it will be easier. My network help get all the ashtrays
and cigarettes out of my apartment. Today I have 3-1/2 days off
cigarettes but at 3 packs/day three days ago I know I am doing
well now.
Well the NRT (nicotine replacement therapy) might be able to take
most of the credit for the times when I see a person light up
or when I just feel like smoking. NRT and deep breaths yes I can
smoke but I make a CHOICE not to. This can happen. Or else I will
clinch my fists and doing anything but smoking. Sometimes I would
get angry that I cannot smoke and I think tightly for five or
ten seconds and then relax them. Shaking the anger out with a
deep breath and sigh. I have a final cigarette that I burnt to
the end and placed it next to the candle that is shaped like a
castle that is burnt down. This is because I have to remember
I could burn the house down (my castle) if I continue to smoke.
It sits on top of a dragon that seems to have burnt that castle
down. And I will never sing "Puff the Magic Dragon" again without
thinking about this image of my castle burnt down.
Help the Advocate
- Power in Positive Thinking
by Yasmin H.
We as peer advocates are here to help but more importantly to
help you help yourself. Ultimately, you and I control our own
destiny and when struggling with our respective mental illnesses,
it's easy to forget. I know for myself, the natural inclination
is to feel powerless, hopeless, and like a failure. How will I
get anywhere in life or relate to other people if I believe that
most of the time?
A big part, the most difficult part of recovery for me, is combating
negative thoughts about myself and re-placing them with positive
ones. There must be a lot of other people out there who feel like
this. I don't think I had much self-esteem before I knew I had
a mental illness but after I found out all those years ago, it
really nose-dived. It's amazing how something that sounds so simplistic
can be so hard to accomplish but also can make such a big difference.
Many times I am moving along in my recovery and I want to make
some long overdue changes in my life. The longer I consider it,
I start thinking about what could go wrong and eventually get
severely depressed and have to start all over again! If I want
to change, I have to have a strong desire and be committed if
I want to move past the fear part, which many times ends up not
being as bad as I thought it was going to be. I have to believe
I can do it. I can't go in half-heartedly. I am sick and tired
of being held hostage by my emotions! So here is my question:
"How do you become a positive thinker and make that part of who
you are? " Write in your answers!
My Journey with
CHOICES
by Yasmin H.
Some people might wonder how it was that I came to become a Consumer
Tobacco Advocate in the CHOICES program. For one thing, I have
never smoked. I also don't have many people in my immediate family
who smoke. But I was still very interested in helping smokers.
Some of you might wonder how could I possibly be good at it?
The reason is my passion. I believe in you, in all of us. We can
help ourselves together, lift each other up. We can all be peer
advocates for each other in some form. Does it matter if we have
different gender, ethnicity, spiritual ideas, diagnosis, education,
or are a smoker or non-smoker? Some people out there in the world
may believe we are a society's throw-away, beyond help, but I
know different now. There are so many times that I feel hopeless,
worthless, and ashamed because I have a mental illness. "I've
made such a mess of my life," I ruminate. I still hope there is
someone somewhere that has faith in me, thinking I can improve
if I just kept trying and take a risk, even though, with all my
being, I can't believe it right then that I am capable.
Many times, I resent that I am dependent on someone else to help
me. "I should be able to do it all for myself," I think. But I
admit I need other people, not to do things for me but to learn
from and much more importantly, for encouragement, to counter-act
the defeatist thoughts that seem to endlessly run through my head.
Maybe you know some of them? "I want to give up," "I can't do
it," "I will never move forward"
Having this job, meeting you all, seeing you working so hard in
your recovery, helps me just as much, if not more so, in mine.
Working with others has awakened my brain and allowed me to believe
that I can have a life worth living and not just exist. I was
surprised the first time I heard from a peer that I inspired her
and gave her hope that recovery is possible. Then I realized that
others do the same for me; in fact we're getting better together.
So, I hope if you see me at your program or somewhere, you'll
give me a chance. I want to talk to you. Please know I'll never
judge a person for lighting up.
Focus on and /or
Thoughts on Smoking
by Leonard C.
I quit smoking for a number of reasons.
Cigarettes are bad for your health and I had a bout with cancer
in 2003.
Not only are cigarettes bad for your health, but they also cost
a lot of money. I can think of better things to spend my money
on than cigarettes.
My family and friends don't want me to smoke.
I have seen other people die because of cigarettes. Smoking can
shorten some people's life spans.
I want to thank and pray for everyone at the Tobacco Dependence
Program. Because of Stacy and Dr. W. and all of you who talked
to me and helped me, I have been able to stay smoke-free.
When I go to church I try to remember to pray for all my friends
at the Tobacco Dependence Program.
It's a rough road ahead and sometimes I am tempted to smoke but
I try not to give into the temptation. I hope and pray to God
to give me strength not to smoke. I don't want to smoke again.
I will try my best not to smoke.
Thank God for all the help and support I have. Hopefully the future
will be promising. I sit back and think after 33 years of being
a smoker, thinking of quitting or even trying to quit.
A little something
for Choices
by Heidi K.
I've come a long way
The cigarettes had me, I could not stay stopped.
I guess around 5 years or so I came to UMDNJ
and was in one of the studies and tried to stop.
For the past 5 years it was: not smoking,
then smoking, then smoking more and more.
I left UMDNJ and made a choice to come back here
with the help of family, friends
and the use of nasal spray,
I am smoke free all of 304 days.
It was the hardest thing to kick.
Having mental illness does not make it any easier.
I didn't give up - I kept trying.
I feel so much better.
It may have taken me a while but that's okay.
I'm smoke free.
Thanks to all the help I had
and for all the help I am still getting.
Keep trying
Don't give up.
Heidi says you can do it
And thanks to all of you who stood by me
and helped me through it
and thanks to me staying smoke free!
My Story on Smoking
by an anonymous author
I started smoking in my first year of middle school. Four of us
girls went to the movies together. We were in the ladies room
and Linda lit up a cigarette. She started blowing smoke rings
and playing with the flame on her lighter. Some of us were asking
her questions about cigarettes. Everyone tried a cigarette. After
I left the movie theatre I felt sick. From that day forth I smoked.
When I graduated high school, my Mom let me smoke at home. I'd
usually go places with friends who smoked and I would chain smoke.
We'd go to movies, bowling, and diners. Loved smoking. My parents
gave me money for lunch and I usually spent it on cigarettes.
When I reach my thirties I tried to quit but I never was firm
in my resolve. One hour, three hours, sometimes a day or two without
cigarettes. Also, when I was sick I cut down on my smoking. My
Aunt Pearl and two uncles on my Mom's side passed from cancer
but I just kept lighting up. My Mom quit smoking when I was in
high school. She had cancer. My dad quit around the time I started
smoking. I had a few romantic relationships but smoking wasn't
much of a problem, since either my boyfriends smoked or put up
with it. Except when I met Andy, he didn't like my smoking. And
I became self-conscious of how sexually unappealing smoking is.
Around this time I quit for nine months. Then I met up with Ruth
who smoked. We went to a bar to listen to music. And I started
to smoke. My health started to deteriorate when I returned to
smoking and also before I was getting a lot of bronchitis, sinus
infections, and colds. I also had chest pain and a lung infection.
My doctor told me I was getting a light case of emphysema and
if I quit it wouldn't get worse.
I had a roommate in the Nineties and I set my bed on fire. My
roommate came in my room with water and put the fire out. I was
extremely in love with my worst enemy. God must have wanted me
to live, and also not put someone else's life in jeopardy.
After the doctor told me about emphysema I tapered off to a pack
a day of Carltons. Now it's been 7 years and 3 months as a non-smoker.
I didn't do it alone. My friends, Marcel, Mark and Lars were my
support. Also, I went a couple of times to a smoking cessation
group. Also two Smokers Anonymous groups. I also had a good book
by a doctor who highlighted the dangers of smoking, methods of
quitting and techniques to quit. For months I quit and start so
many times. Finally, the pain was too much to keep quitting and
going back. Gave it up. Exercise helped, eating sweets, too. Visualizations
of peaceful imagery helped. The pain finally eased up. I'm glad
I quit. Most people wouldn't want to give another person the control
cigarettes give them. I'm finally free - I feel reborn.
Social Stigma
by Wayne H.
"Head case, bats in belfry, screw ball, crack pot, nuts, crazy
insane, loco in cabasa" - These are all terms that tell me that
a lot of people don't understand mental illness and don't want
to.
People with physical impairments or disabilities are met with
some understanding, but mental illness is met with ignorance and
total insensitivity toward people who suffer from it. I've had
people threaten to call the police when they find out I have mental
illness. I tell them it's not illegal to be mentally ill in America.
Even people like me have rights too. In Nazi Germany people suffering
from mental illness were shot. But in America I have the right
to live.
Part of what I am dealing with is stereotyping but also I am in
competition with Hollywood. Just because a person is mentally
ill does not mean they are Norman Bates or like some mad scientist
trying to take over the world. What it does mean is that people
with mental illness have thoughts and emotions that are painful,
both psychologically and emotionally. Their painful thoughts and
emotions can cripple them and make it hard for them to function
like other people. This disability is based on medical scientific
findings that tell it is caused by problems with the brain and
body chemistry. Medicines are prescribed by real doctors to try
to correct the problem as best as possible. There is no cure,
only treatment. So when people see someone they think that might
be mentally ill, it's a lot nicer and more adult to be understanding
and patient with them. I can only handle work on a limited basis
because of my disability. People where I live say that it isn't
fair because they have to work full time. I can assure people
that having mental illness isn't fair either.
My hope is that someday mental illness will be met with the same
degree of compassion as other disabilities and illnesses.
Say no to
smoking
by Joseph S.
Six months ago something really terrible happened to me. I ended
up in the emergency room. What happened is that I had Viral Pneumonia.
In the ambulance they had told me that I had a heart attack. As
the stretcher rolled down the corridor I had thoughts of how horrible
it would be to have my chest carved open and how terrible it would
be to have a heart attack and have a plastic one maybe put in
me.
The pneumonia itself was bad enough. They had antibiotics placed
on my hands and in my arms. I knew very well that all the cases
of bronchitis that I had were because of smoking obviously, and
knowing was a big incentive. I thought it over for a long time.
I was going on with my life without caring enough about myself.
I had to look at things with a lot of sincerity, did I want to
continue smoking and ruining my health and with what the smoking
cessation program that I was attending taught me that I was creating
a nightmare of a scenario for my future years to come.
I know that in the smoking cessation classes they showed us pictures
of oxygen tubes running down their noses. The horrors of this
obsession with the oral fixation were bad enough to make a nightmare
out of my future years of life. I want to enjoy my life I thought.
I really want to enjoy my life, not to suffer with diseases of
all types in my later years when I am more sensitive than I am
now.
I figured that since they would not let me smoke anyway in the
hospital and that I was there for three days, I would take advantage
of stopping those three days and continue from then on in. Everyday
was another battle. It became a pain in the neck trying to fight
it everyday but I rode it out and made the best of it. I noticed
that lying down in bed was a great way to get through the hard
time of it all.
I think I saved my life, and I want you to try to do the same.
How and Why I Quit
Smoking
by Patty S.
My name is Patty S. I quit smoking cigarettes four and a half
years ago and I have been smoke free since.
I was in the dining room at the Club and Dr. W. came in and asked
if there was anyone who was interested in a program for people
with mental illness to participate in a study that she was conducting
to help people to quit smoking.
I was very interested in the study and signed up to participate.
First thing Dr. W. did was sit down and talk to me about the study.
We together decided that the nicotine patch would be the best
way to try to quit. I was hesitant at first that I wouldn't be
able to finish the study.
The main reason I wanted to quit was because of my health. At
the time I had a very bad cough and I would get dizzy when I smoked
my first cigarette in the morning. I was trying to figure out
a way to quit because I was making myself sick by smoking.
Dr. W. walked into my life just when I needed help with my smoking
problem - it was like she knew.
I remember the first time I put the patch on. I was so scared
that I would get cravings. I had been smoking almost two packs
a day. Dr. W. met with me two times a week. I would get cravings
but they would pass after a minute or two. With the patch I didn't
have withdrawal at all. I discovered that if I drank a lot of
bottled water and had Life Saver candies I felt so much better.
I wasn't dizzy anymore and about two weeks later the cough went
away. I did the patch for six months and sometimes I would get
cravings but the water helped to get rid of all the nasty chemicals
(there are about 4,000 that are in cigarettes).
If you ever thought about how to quit smoking, there is a phone
number you can call for more information. It's a toll free number.
I never would have been able to quit without the help that Dr.
W. gave me. She is very nice and she made such a difference in
my life. I'll always be grateful to her for all her help and understanding.
It's easier to quit than most people think. Three days smoke free
- three weeks smoke free with a little bit of willpower you too
can quit!
Meet Consumer Tobacco
Advocate: Wayne H.
On my very first day of work with the CHOICES program, I received
a phone call that morning telling me that my uncle had died. His
death was caused by emphysema. After hearing the news about my
uncle I thought of my aunt who had died of lung cancer and of
my mother who had died when I was 28, also from emphysema related
to her smoking. It made me sad and I thought of how I still mourned
my mother's death.
But on this particular day I was a part of the CHOICES program.
I quit smoking three years ago and I was determined to help others
like myself make a better decision about their smoking because
tobacco had created havoc on my family. CHOICES has given me the
chance to reach out and help other mental health consumers.
I am hoping that I can make a difference. The CHOICES program
has already helped. I'm less isolated and have re-integrated into
society. I am no longer cut off from the outside world; I visit
other programs and make myself available to talk to anyone that
is interested in making an informed decision about their tobacco
use. It has given me the experience of working with others and
I have made a few nice friends along the way. This program can
help a lot of people in so many ways.
If you're a smoker and you want to learn the facts, find out more
about CHOICES by visiting our website at http://www.njchoices.org.
Take the first step.
Smoking Cessation:
A personal story
by Bill K.
I am a peer support specialist at Clubhouse of Suffolk, (New York)
in the Smoking Cessation and Wellness Program. I am a friend and
a contact for those interested in Smoking Cessation, and even
for those not yet contemplating quitting smoking. I am here 15
hours a week, holding a cessation class, making reach-out calls,
providing support for the people I know as we struggle with the
issue of quitting smoking cigarettes.
My peers at the Clubhouse of Suffolk of which I am a member and
employee are tolerant of the information that we share about smoking
cessation, and are interested in learning from me, as a friend
and a consumer, recovering from mental illness. People with mental
illness, needless to say have a lot on their minds and don't always
absorb as much information and facts about smoking and its effects
on their health. Continued support and informative help is necessary
to provide the effective and successful treatment to all mental
health consumers. Consumers deserve the opportunities to fulfill
themselves and their lives-good health is a necessary part of
this recovery.
There are many new facts, training seminars and conferences which
our Smoking Cessation Project has become a part of. We are in
a unique situation, those of us with Mental Illness, we have to
deal with multiple psychiatric, emotional and health issues and
yet; 45% of the cigarettes that are smoked in this country-the
cigarettes that contribute to our negative health issues-are smoked
by consumers with Mental Illness.
When I started smoking there was a real social and familial aspect
to the smoking habit. I just needed something to divert my attention
away from my symptoms and provide some pleasure. At the time I
did not recognize my illness and the habit grew out of a concern
that I did not belong. Thankfully I can say that I've been free
from smoking for 5 or 6 years. Now we have a Wellness Program
and a twice weekly visit to the YMCA for an hour long workout
in the community with average people.
We definitely belong there and we are putting good health and
recovery into practice
Just to tie things up a bit, thank you for the opportunity to
write this article.
To smoke or not
to smoke
by Diane B.
My name is Diane B. and I am a new addition to the CHOICES team
as a CTA (consumer tobacco advocate). Although I have never smoked
I am battling an addiction. I am a food junkie and have been attending
O.A. (Overeaters Anonymous) for several months. In the past year
and a half I have lost 65 pounds. This article though is not about
me. It is about you and your addiction and how you like me can
overcome it. I believe that with Hope all things are possible.
My belief in God is what helps me but some people prefer to rely
on other sources of inspiration (a Higher Power, meditation, etc.).
Recovery from severe mental illness is possible and recovery from
tobacco addiction is equally as possible. Wherever you are sitting
right now whether at work, in a day program, at home, or somewhere
else recovery is possible. Perhaps you might think of joining
Nicotine Anonymous or using the patch or nicotine gum, or all
three. Just know that whatever path you choose we are right there
with you. The choice is entirely up to you, yet we are backing
you up all the way. Perhaps you've spoken with Wayne, Yasmin,
Kathy, Martha or myself and you are vacillating or even pondering
quitting. Well now may or may not be the time, but there will
be a time when you will say you've had it with the addiction.
Only you and your decisions will help you break free of the chains
that bind you. When you are ready your chances of quit-ting improve
if you use tobacco treatment medication coupled with counseling.
So instead of lining the tobacco companies' pockets, if you quit
and stick with it, you will be able to line your own pockets.
The extra money you save from not smoking can be used for something
positive. Just have faith in yourself that it is possible and
act as if you can do it, and it may come true--- to be smoke free
and truly be free. Remember the choice is yours.
I never meant to
be a "real" smoker
by Paul
This is how it started. I was 15 and my friends and I would meet
together after school in front of the drugstore. I'd smoke when
one of my friends offered me a cigarette, but I didn't buy my
own. By age 17 we would go to parties at friends' houses and there
was always beer and alcohol there. I would puff on a cigarette
and drink. At home, I didn't dare smoke. My parents were non-smokers
and were very much against it. But eventually, I went from smoking
just when I was drinking or hanging with my friends, to two in
the morning on my way to the bus, and one before bed, when I gave
our dog its last walk of the night, and one or two in between
whenever I could manage it. Pretty soon, I was out of high school
and working. Now I needed cigarettes to wake me up in the morning
and on breaks during the day, after work, and all evening when
I was out with my buddies. I used to think I could quit any time
I wanted to. I realized I couldn't when I was up to a pack and
a half of cigarettes a day.
Today I am 56 years old. I had a heart attack two years ago. My
doctor says it is a "classic smoker's heart attack." I quit right
away, but went back after three months. It was stress on the job,
or maybe it was the fact that my wife smoked, too. Anyway, my
wife quit last year and I quit again four months ago. This time,
I'm trying to do the things that I didn't do last time. No more
bumming cigarettes, no more asking for "just one drag." I am convinced
that I can't have even one, or I'll be right back where I was
before, puffing away all day and night. I'm exercising, staying
away from smokers at work, talking to other smokers on the internet.
We keep each other honest. It's the only way for me.
